What is Divorce Mediation?


What is divorce mediation? Understanding Divorce Mediation in St. Louis Missouri

(314) 272-0727

Hi, my name is Nicole Davis (Financial Neutral & Mediator), I provide divorce and mediation services in St. Louis Missouri.

When I talk with folks about what it is that I do, I’m often asked, “what is divorce mediation?”

To start, the formal mediation definition is “the intervention in a dispute in order to resolve it”. But this isn’t how I explain mediation because quite frankly, that definition isn’t helpful.

Let me use a real-life example....  

Imagine that you know a couple that has decided to divorce, they have children, a family business and they are active members of their community. This couple, like so many, have tried privately to fix their marriage but to no avail.

They’ve decide that it would be better for the family if they divorce. Husband and wife are still on speaking terms, comfortable expressing their concerns & wants, and they find it important to handle this divorce in a private and amicably way. This couple has two options they can either, handle their divorce the amicable way or the litigated way.

Now most people are only familiar with the litigated divorce. The litigated divorce is where each spouse hires a divorce attorney. The attorneys require upfront money that ranges anywhere from $1,500 - $10,000 or more per spouse.

Litigated divorces can take anywhere from one to three years to complete. Can you imagine the legal fees involved in a litigated divorce? Here's the kicker....the entire divorce is open to the public….anyone can be a spectator.

The second option is the Divorce Mediation process.

Divorce mediation is a private, confidential, amicable, and is a financially reasonable way to divorce. Mediation focuses on understanding the issues, goal setting, brainstorming, problem-solving and resolving the divorce – in a matter of months not years.

When spouses engage a divorce mediator, they are engaging a an unbiased, non-judgmental, third-party neutral.

A mediator has been trained in conflict resolution and serves to help the parties identify the issues, set goals, prioritize, brainstorm, problem-solve, and craft agreements that resolve the issues at hand. When parties are stuck and unable to communicate or articulate effectively, the mediator helps to put the feelings and emotions into words so that they can be addressed and resolved.

See, the formal mediation definition is much more than just “intervening in a dispute in order to resolve it”. Mediation is the act of facilitating communication, where communication has been lost, and helping parties find resolution outside the court system while fostering healthy relationships that thrive after the conflict has been resolved. Mediation helps to heal wounds, not create new ones.

If you are getting divorced or want to know more about divorce mediation or if you are looking for a divorce mediator in Missouri or Illinois then give us a call (314) 272-0727.


We provide divorce and mediation services in chesterfield, st. charles, o'fallon, st. peters, ballwin, ellisville, clayton and st. louis missouri metropolitan area

To learn more about our divorce and mediation services please call or click to schedule your 30 minute consultation.